Tenma's Dairy of All Things Bright and Beautiful!
by Starlite1997
Summary: Hey diary! Today was really really fun! I got to play with all my friends and I learned some really cool stuff! Like, people can have lots of fun with condensed milk! Adorably Yours Tenma
1. Chapter 1

_**Star: Based on fan-fic Sora's Magical Diary of Rainbows and Happiness! By SilverWingedRaven  
Lite: Not gonna update this a lot, 'cos of Erroneous Rendezvous, only days when something funny happens, or basically every Tuesday and Thursday**_

**Art Disclaimer: Drawn by Lite and colored by Star, is part of art series Our Electronic Childhood, info on soon to come artworks 1997starlite . deviantart #/d57del2**

**Disclaimer: Star and Lite do not own Inazuma Eleven, but they do own the plot**

**7/14/12**

The nurse said I have "Too much energy" Like whatever! I think I am a perfect little boy. Even Aki-nee says that, well, after I stop running around the house. Anyways, nursie gave me this diary! I wanna hug the stuff out of the nurse! So I did and she went to the hospital... I hope she says hi to Taiyou-kun for me!

Okay, so Hikaru and Shinsuke and Kariya AND Tsurugi came over today! Hikaru came in first. He and Kariya were play drag! I wanna play that with Tsurugi again! It was when I went into the bathroom, and for some reason GIRLS were in there. So Tsurugi dragged me out, I said "Wee!" But for some reason, everyone in the bathroom ignored it.

Speaking of girls. Tsurugi brought me this outfit like this singer he likes Hatsune Miku. He said I'm not supposed to show anyone but him. So I tried it on and he and I think I look pretty good so I drew it on the cover of you diary. It looks nice on you. And Tsurugi just stared at me. I look good as a girl. If I said that out loud, Kirino-senpai would KILL ME! He works hard to look like a girl. DARN! I crashed a train of thought! I'm a murderer! Wait, wasn't I thinking about girls?

Girls. They can never be as smart as us me- SQUIRL!

**7/14/12 – Three Hours Later**

Hey Diary! Sorry I left earlier! I found a squirl and I went after it. But then it went into the street, and I got hit by Shindou's limo. Thank GOSH, rich people like Shindou do not like driving fast! They like paying for gas. Makes 'em feel richer.

Anyways, Tsurugi ran after me! I mean TSURUGI KYOUSUKE ran after ME. He ran over and started freaking out when he saw my nose was bleeding. Then he got confused when there wasn't any blood on the limo. And saw blood came from my nose. And I wasn't hit in the nose… I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU DIARY!

So I wasn't hurt so we just came back. Kariya and Hikaru didn't come with us, so right now I'm looking for them. My door is locked and on the inside I can hear Hikaru yelling at Kariya to stop over and over again. So I said "Can I join your tickle party!" And they just went silent. I'm just gonna talk to Tsurugi and Shinsuke because those MEANIES won't let me join in on the fun.

Tsurugi is asking if he can read what I wrote. I'm handing you to him now diary, enjoy it! N-Not that I mean like only enjoy it 'cos it's Tsurugi! I mean you can enjoy it if it's anyone, it's just Tsurugi is… I'm just gonna hand you over.

Yo, this is Tsurugi. After reading this, I've found out a few things.  
1. Tenma can't spell SQUIRELLES  
2. We men really are smarter than girls  
3. Kariya and Hikaru are screwed up  
4. Tenma likes drag  
5. The school nurse knows Onii-chan

Tenma back! And I barely understand anything Tsurugi said. But now I know how to spell squirelle. And that the nurse is gonna meet Yuuichi-san and Taiyou-kun! I've heard rumors about those two… Not about Taiyou and the nurse, Tsurugi!

Dairy, this is really private. So I can only trust right now. There are these rumors at school that Yuuichi-san and Taiyou-kun are… MORE THAN FRIENDS! First time I heard that, it was lunch...

ADORIBLEPERFECTboy: So Kariya, what did you want to say? *eats lunch*

Kariya: Well I heard *leans in* Tsurugi's older brother and Taiyou… have SOMETHING

ADORIBLEPERFECTboy: *spits out food* The SOMETHING you're talking about better be drugs!

Kariya: WHAT THE FUCK TENMA! YOU SPIT CURRY IN MY EYES!

So while I was having a breakdown, I was utterly happy! What Kariya told me meant that Tsurugi and Yuuichi-san's incestuous relationship was just a rumor! TSURUGI IS SINGLE! MENTAL HEART-ATTACK! Tsurugi and Shinsuke are looking at me like I'm having a muscle spasm.

Aki-nee says we've had a long day and that we should sleep now. Where was she when I got hit by that car? So there are two beds and Kariya and Hikaru said they can share one and I said I could share with Tsurugi. That left Shinsuke.

Kariya said Shinsuke could sleep with us, but I wasn't preparing to lose so quickly. So I said it would be better if he slept with Kariya because my room is really hot. He said he had a cold and Hikaru was trying to keep him warm. I had a strange vibe from that but I didn't want Shinsuke to get sick! So Kariya and Hikaru ran to the guest room giggling.

Hey diary. Wanna know something cool. Tsurugi. Sleeps. HALF-FLIPPING-NAKED! He just stripped and got in! I, for one, wear the finest silk pajamas. OMG I SOUND LIKE SHINDOU! He has a lot of money. I heard he pays for Kirino's trips to the salon. Back on where I was, I wear pajamas but it decided to slip off the top. Just to be even.

Shinsuke is sleeping BETWEEN me and Tsurugi. I CANNOT sleep like that. Seeing as he and Tsurugi are asleep, I put him in Sasuke's old puppy bed on the floor. He fits.

I wrapped my arm around Tsurugi's waist. Dear god, nosebleed do not come today! He is so naked! I'm basically on top of him except sideways.

Then he woke up. He started hitting me and cursing! Is it wrong for me to cuddle with him while he's sleeping? When I went in Kariya and Hikaru's room, that's what they were doing! Except Hikaru made a LOT of noise. I always wondered what they do when they're alone. But I guess Hikaru's just trying to keep him warm. Apparently by hugging him because Kariya keeps saying he's so tight.

Me and Tsurugi are getting something to drink. We both got a cup of milk. He said I'm really messy because there was a bit dripping to the side of my mouth. He lifted my chin and used his thumb to wipe it off. I quickly picked up my cup and took a drink. My faced turned red. IT WAS FRICKIN HOT-SAUSE!

So we went back to bed and I'm practically falling off because Tsurugi won't let me near him. So we just laid as far away as we can get.

I'm laying down in something weird and sticky. I asked Tsurugi what it is. He said condensed milk and started pulling downstairs because he wants me to sleep with him on the couch. I wonder what it is. Maybe I should ask Kariya and Hikaru if they know, they were up there earlier. Hikaru probably knows. I wonder if they were making creamed corn! They had a Cream Corn Tickle Fight without me! Next time I am so playing with them.

_Yours Adorably ~ Tenma_

_**Star: This is rated K+, because everyone knows it's really condensed milk  
Lite: And why would Hikaru be yelling for Kariya to stop if it **_**wasn't **_**a tickle party?  
Star: It's really simple once you think about it, Mata ne!  
**_


	2. Big Bad Breakup

_**Star: Thank you SilverWingedRaven!  
Lite: For being awesome in every way!**_

**Art Disclaimer: Drawn by Lite and colored by Star, is part of art series Our Electronic Childhood, info on soon to come artworks 1997starlite . deviantart #/d57del2**

**Disclaimer: Star and Lite do not own Inazuma Eleven, but they do own the plot**

Hey, hey, hey! Diary! Long time no see! I've been preoccupied! BURNING EVERYTHING I OWN THAT RELATES TO TSURUGI KYOUSUKE! *sniff sniff* Tsurugi's been cheating on me! Okay, I know we weren't together in the first place! But in my mind… we played a lot. We even had a Cream Corn Tickle Fight! But alas… TSURUGI KYOUSUKE IS A DIRTY SON OF A DIGIT!

I was walking by the back of the clubroom, and you know what I saw! TSURUGI AND SHINDOU-FRICKIN-TAKUTO GETTING FRIENDLY! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! *sniff* Tsurugi hugged him. I guess Tsurugi doesn't like me. WELL HAHA SHINDOU! THAT'S WHY KIRINO CHEATED ON YOU WITH KARIYA! …This is more like a stress reliever.

So I saw Shindou and Tsurugi and I screamed. And I heard Tsurugi say something about not knowing how good he is… pfft.

NEWS FLASH TSURUGI! YOU'RE HAIR LOOKS WAY GAY-ER THAN MARK KRUGER! YEAH I SAID IT! *takes a deep breath*

Maybe me and Kirino should eat ice-cream 'til we get fat. OR WE COULD DRINK CONDENSED MILK UNTIL WE GET FAT! I'm gonna call Kariya!

_Too Lazy to Write More ~ Tenma_

_**Star: Tired! *falls* Mata ne!**_


	3. bUS rIDE OF dOOOM!

_**Star: I'm sorry for giving Tenma mental issues! And you already know you're awesome Raven!**_

**Art Disclaimer: Drawn by Lite and colored by Star, is part of art series Our Electronic Childhood, info on soon to come artworks 1997starlite . deviantart #/d57del2**

**Disclaimer: Star and Lite do not own Inazuma Eleven, but they do (BARELY) own the plot**

**7/19/12**

Hey, diary! I'm in full recovery! Condensed milk really fills 'ya up! And the way it drips off the side of your face and messes up the sheets, I'M SO HAPPY I CALLED KARIYA!

I'm on the bus now! People are asking me why I'm writing in a diary! "The same reason I love Kariya's condensed milk!" That's a good answer right? Maybe it needs a bit more clarification, or whatever that word means.

"It tastes really good!" Everyone on the random school bus looked at Kariya… WAIT A SECOND!

WHAT THE RAMEN! THERE WAS NEVER A SCHOOL BUS BEFORE! OMG OMG OMG! WHY ARE WE ALL ON A BUS! THERE WASN'T A BUS BEFORE! THIS IS INSANE! WAIT… there's only one explanation. THIS IS A PEDO-BUS! THE DRIVER MUST BE SOME PEDOPHILE TAKING US AWAY TO HIS BAD TOUCH LAIR! I'M TOO YOUNG! I JUST STARTED THIS SCHOOL! WHY COULDN'T HE JUST TAKE HAYAMI!

CALM DOWN TENMA! Owie! I slapped myself! But whatever. How am I gonna protect my friends from this pedo-driver! I need to save everyone! …Except Tsurugi. What do I do! I need to… jump. I took one of my 'In Case of Emergency' matches and lit it. "Everybody there's a fire, jump!"

Okay! Everyone's jumping off, now to take care of the pedo-driver! So as I left I locked the door, leaving pedo on the bus… JUSTICE! KIDS RULE ADULTS SPOOL! But alas… Tsurugi got out… alive. I guess sometimes good things happen at a cost.

Um… I guess we're just going to school now. I think they forgot already. Kids these days…

**Five Hours Later**

DIARY! THERE IS SOME EXTREME DISCIMINATION GOING ON! I was sent to the principal's office! EPIC FROWNY FACE! They said I was cheating on a test! I just wanted to tell you about it… BUT THE SCHOOL SYSTEM HAS TO BE FILLED WITH HECTOPASCALS THAT DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT!

*sigh* I wish I was Jerseyian... Then I could yell at those fools and erase their stupid with my big lips and unnaturally orange skin! Then we'd get in a fist-fight and I'd be arrested and get sent to jail. But they KNOW they ain't gon' mess wit' me 'cos I wou' jack 'em up! OMG! PEOPLE FROM NEW JERSEY CANNOT SPEAK RIGHT!

They sound like SpongeBob with a lisp. But I don't wanna talk about it more because being mean is mean! Plus, my older brother doesn't like it… DIARY! GUESSSSSS WHAT! I have an older brother~

So I was coming home from playing with Kariya and Shinsuke AND THAT'S WHEN I SAW HIM! I was expecting him to be at home so I opened the door and almost PEED MY PANTS. He was SOOOOO GORGOUS! The way the dirt on his face sparkled, the way clouds flew around him, HE was a great as AFURO-SAN! And that's saying something. It sorta went like this…

CuteAdoribleMe: What are you doing here! Are you… *gasp* MY BROTHER? OMG! *hugs*

Onii-chan: O-kay? Little bro, men… don't hug… or say OMG

CuteAdoribleMe: Sorry! *lets go* Why are you here?

Onii-chan: I… came from… college?

CuteAdoribleMe: OMG! MY BROTHER IS A COLLEGE GRAD! I AM SOOO PROUD!

Onii-chan: Thanks? *starts putting random items into a bag*

CuteAdoribleMe: What are you doing?

Onii-chan: I have… loans to pay

CuteAdoribleMe: Take this TV! I cost a whole lot, maybe you would have to pay anymore!

Onii-chan: Thanks, uh, Sora? *leaves*

So Onii-chan gave me the CUUUUTEST nickname EVER. Sora. Sola. Sora. See! It just rolls the tongue so beautifully! It's a man's name! Well… I think? I've met a girl named Sora, and I've played a game with a kid called Sora in it. And he was a boy. Maybe Onii-chan was MOCKING ME! MAYBE HE WANS'T TO START A SIBLING RIVARLRY! OR MAYBE HE WASN'T THERE WHEN I WAS BORN, AND THINKS I'M A GIRL! It's obvious I would make a great girl though.

BRAINSTORM! Oh my gosh, a brainstorm! SWIRLING TORNADOS OF EVIL AND VEGETABLES ARE COMING TO SWEEP AWAY THE SOCCER BALLS! SAVE THE SOCCER BALLS! I DON'T CARE ABOUT TSURUGI AND SHINDOU JUST SAVE THE SHINY SOCCER BALLS! …AND THE CONDENSED MILK!

Wow, they should send out a tornado warning before another brainstorm. But anyways, I WOULD BE A VERY HOT GIRL! I mean, not to brag but, I'VE GOT A BETTER FIGURE THAN AOI! If I had a skirt and some make-up, I'd be the prettiest girl in the world! I wonder if I still have that outfit Tsurugi gave me! Oh wait, I burnt it. Whoops diary, hold up a sec, gotta check my email.

OH HOLY COW! THE DAY I'VE WAITED FOR MY WHOLE LIFE HAS ARIVED! I GOT MY FIRST FACEBOOK FRIEND! I'M SO HAPPY! I CAN'T BELIEVE… DeathLancelot223 wants to be my friend… DENIED! HOW DARE TSURUGI TRY TO BE MY FRIEND! I WILL EXACT MY REVEHYUNGE!

What to do, what to do… I know! I'LL SET THE HOSPITAL ON FIRE! Put before that, I'll get Yuuichi-san and Taiyou-kun out first, so then he'll think they died along with the old people!

Oh my gosh! On one of my shoulders, there's an angel who looks like Afuro-san! He's wearing a dress… JUST LIKE AFURO-SAN! And on my other should there's someone- HOLY SHOE HE'S GOT WEAPON! HELP ME!

Ehm, now that I've had time to calm down, I don't think it's right to burn the hospital. But I SHALL get back at Tsurugi! I'LL HACK HIS FACEBOOK PROFILE! All I need to do is click that magic page and…

OMG! HE HAS A PICTURE OF HIM AND SHINDOU CUDDLING! THE LAST TIME I TRIED THAT, HE WANTED TO STAB ME TO DEATH! I got an idea. THE BEST ONE EVER! I'M GONNA PRINT OUT THE PICTURE AND POST IT ALL AROUND SCHOOL! First, I'm gonna have to break in… I'M GONNA NEED SOME INTENSE CONDENSED MILK DOWNING TO PLAN THIS OUT! I'm gonna go call Kariya, but this time he has to promise not to let it out in my mouth for me. Or else I'll have to take another shower, because it's really hard to swallow it all.

Loving You and Condensed Milk,

Matsukaze Tenma

_**Star: Sora was the best unisex name I could think of  
Lite: And just happens that's the name of the protagonist from the story were inspired to write (Translation: Story we copied) from**_


End file.
